Top Hats and Tigers
by Gandalf15
Summary: When a gentlemanly professor and a mischievous six-year-old start acting very strange, their friends notice, and determine to get to the bottom of it.
1. Peculiar Happenings

**(Author's notes: This takes place sometime after the events of The Curious Village, and sometime before the events of Unwound Future. This will be my first story on here with more than two chapters, I've planned on five. Heads-up: OOC behavior at first, but it's part of the plot.)**

* * *

-Chapter One: Peculiar Happenings-

* * *

The funny thing about people you're very close with is that you think you know everything about them, when really you don't. You _can't_ , it's impossible to know completely EVERYTHING about a person. As such, when they do or say something totally unexpected, it can make no sense to you, even if it makes perfect sense to them because of something that happened to them you don't know about.

Luke was sure he knew almost everything about the Professor. But then the Professor started behaving oddly. _Quite_ oddly.

Luke peered through the doorway at Professor Layton. Layton was reclining back in his chair, shoveling a package of crisps into his mouth. He _never_ ate crisps, and he certainly would never eat them in such a rude, slobby manner. It was very ungentlemanly.

Luke watched as the Professor finished his crisps and threw the package on the floor. Getting up and starting to walk away, he called out "Hey, kid! Clean this up!"

"Yes, Professor," said Luke, going to get the broom. As the Professor left the study, Luke entered to pick up the crisp package and start sweeping up the crumbs. The work of a 13-year-old apprentice to a genius archaeologist was never done.

That was another way the Professor was acting odd, he never talked to Luke that way and never made messes like this. Luke was there to help out the professor and tidy up when necessary, but never because the Professor simply threw things around when he was done with them.

"I'm going out," the Professor called as he walked out the front door. Luke swept up the crisp crumbs. A few minutes later, he heard the front door open again. "Hello? Anyone here?" called a young, female voice. It was Flora, the Professor's adopted daughter.

"I'm in here. The Professor's gone out." Flora came in and found him, carrying a bag. "I thought I'd bring you and the Professor some lunch today," she said, handing the bag to Luke.

Luke looked inside. It contained a few things that looked rather like sausages coated in jelly with raisins on top. Luke gulped. Flora was the sweetest young lady you could find, but not the best chef.

He looked up at her beaming face and put on a fake smile. "Thanks, Flora." She nodded, then her grin disappeared. "Um, Luke, have you noticed the Professor acting… odd, lately?"

Luke put away the broom. "Yeah. You have too?"

"Well, he doesn't talk to me as much as he used to at home. And when he does, it's usually to tell me to do something for him. I think… I think he even walks funny now. Once or twice he's looked… off-balance, or something like that, like he's having trouble balancing on his legs."

Luke frowned. He hadn't noticed that.

"I think it might have all started one night last week. I was helping Rosa tidy up- you remember Rosa the maid, right? -and all of a sudden we heard him run up to his study and lock himself in. When I knocked, he said to go away, and he sounded funny… as if he was scared or something. He was in there all evening and night, and he's been acting strange ever since."

Flora leaned in close. "But the strangest thing is… the other night I saw him in his study, working on one of his puzzles, and suddenly he shouted 'This puzzle is too darn hard!' and threw it against the wall!"

Luke's eyes widened. "Wow! _Really_?" Flora nodded. "I was just as shocked as you! I wonder whatever's the matter with him?"

Luke thought. "Maybe he was working so hard on a puzzle, he broke his brain?"

"I doubt it. Hmm… maybe something about his job is bothering him?"

"But he's an archaeologist, and a professor at the university, and he loves being both! What could be bothering him?"

Flora tucked a loose curl back behind her ear. "I don't know. I feel like if something is bothering him, we should've known… we're the people he's closest to, aren't we?"

Luke said "I guess so…" when there suddenly came loud screeches and crashes from outside. "What was that?!" Luke cried.

Flora paled. "That was something else I noticed, I think he isn't driving as well as he used to…"

The front door swung open, and the Professor strutted in. He called out behind him "OH, YEAH? WELL, IT TAKES A PUBLIC MENACE TO KNOW ONE!"

He slammed the door and marched by Luke and Flora. "I changed my mind. I'm not going out right now."

Flora followed him and said "I… I brought you some lunch, Professor." The Professor looked back at her. "Huh." He took the package from her. "Thanks, Fauna."

"Er… you mean Flora?"

"Yeah, Dora."

The professor bit into the lunch.

He chewed a few seconds.

Then he spectacularly spat out the bite he'd taken onto the floor. "Ugh! What IS that!?" Flora looked at her feet. "I'm sorry you don't like it," she said in a small voice.

The Professor said "Clean that up!" turned, and stormed away. He muttered something about "worse than my mother's…"

Flora's eyes teared up as she got a rag and started to wipe up the spewed lunch. Luke came over and helped her. "He…he didn't mean it, Flora."

Flora wiped her eyes. "Of course he couldn't have. I just… wish we knew what was bothering him."

They stood up, and Luke hugged her for a moment. "We'll find out. I promise."

* * *

Hobbes, curled up beneath the window, looked over at his buddy Calvin. It was rather unusual for a tiger and a six-year-old-boy to be buddies, but they were both unusual themselves.

Hobbes yawned and arched his back. He glanced over at Calvin again. Calvin's nose was buried in a book. That was weird, even for Calvin. The kid _never_ liked to be in a twenty-foot-radius of a book. Beside him was a big pile of other books, about things like the human mind, hallucinations, out-of-body experiences and reincarnation.

Calvin seemed scared of Hobbes these days, too, even when Hobbes wasn't sneaking up to pounce on him. Hobbes thought back. He thought Calvin's strange behavior might have started a few days ago, when Calvin had woken up screaming and yelling and demanding to know where he was, and had to be dragged downstairs and forcibly sent to school by his mother.

At the time, Hobbes had just chalked it up to one of Calvin's tricks to get out of going to school, and had gone back to sleep. But now, he wasn't so sure.

He stood up and flexed his paws. Calvin glanced over at him, looking nervous. Hobbes smiled. "Relax, you know I don't bite, except when I do." He chuckled.

Calvin apparently didn't see the humor, and went back to his book.

* * *

 **(Whatever is up? Tune in next time to find out! Reviews will be extremely appreciated.)**


	2. Retread

-Chapter Two: Retread-

* * *

It was night in London. The blanket of darkness coating the city was sprinkled with little lights from buildings and cars. Somewhere out there, Big Ben chimed.

The tall, somewhat lanky figure of the Professor looked out at this through the safety of his window. His thoughts, however, weren't on the dark cityscape.

He was not, really, the Professor. Well, his body was, but his mind wasn't. It was the mind of a six-year-old genius named Calvin, and he was very far from home.

He was still getting used to such a different body, but he was learning to balance better. The real bodily annoyance was having to see out of the Professor's beady little eyes.

Calvin closed the curtains, using the Professor's skinny arms, and turned away. He was alone in "his" house, the maid was gone and what's-her-name, the girl, had gone out with some friends or something.

He sat down in a comfy chair and opened a bag of chocolate chips, scooping some into his mouth. Yes, he could eat chocolate chips for dinner now, who was going to stop him? That was an upside of masquerading as an adult whose body you've taken over.

Mouth full of chocolate, Calvin thought back to a few days ago, when it had all begun…

 _Calvin's tiger friend, Hobbes, watched as he tinkered with a cardboard box and a toilet plunger. Looking over Calvin's shoulder, he commented "I want to ask what you're doing, but my voice of reason tells me not to."_

 _They were at Calvin's real home in America. Calvin, still in his original little boy body, turned around and glared at Hobbes. "Because, fur-face, my Cerebral-Enhance-o-Tron was a good idea, it had some bugs to work out. Remember, while it did expand my gray matter and made me smarter, it eventually wore off, with the brain cell stimulation degenerating shrinking my brain back to normal."_

" _Yeah, you wanted to make writing reports easier, so you grew your head, stalled and dawdled anyway, and then it shrank again."_

 _Calvin rolled his eyes. "In completely simplified and extraneous terms, yes. But now, this new machine made with some of the same technology will make the effects longer lasting."_

" _Dare I ask how?"_

 _Calvin pointed at what looked like a cardboard box, with a desk lamp taped to the top. "The Cranial Additionator™ will cultivate extra brain tissue, and then transmit it into my skull to be added on to the rest of my gray matter, increasing my brain like before, and this time I added some Neural Temporal Endurances, so it won't wear off."_

 _Hobbes sighed. "Whenever you use words longer than seven letters, I see trouble coming."_

" _Pay attention! In essence, the Additionator will give me a mind even more brilliant then the one I already have. (Hard to believe that's possible, isn't it?)"_

" _Mind-blowing." Hobbes's voice dripped with sarcasm._

" _Right," Calvin said, stepping over to the machine. "When I say go, you flip the switch here, and my brain matter will be increased tenfold!" He touched the top of the desk lamp to his head and pointed to a switch on the box. "Go!"_

" _Remember, you're doing this freely and of your own will," Hobbes commented, flipping the switch._

 _There was a "_ _ **ZOODOINK!**_ _" and then…_

… _absolutely nothing happened._

 _Calvin was disappointed. Hobbes looked relieved._

 _And so, Calvin went through his evening like normal. Vowing to perfect the machine tomorrow, Calvin went bed and fell asleep._

And then, BAM! He'd found himself in this man's house, in this man's body. Since then, he'd gathered that his body belonged to Professor Hershel Layton, and that he was in London, England.

He wasn't sure what had gone wrong. Possibly, the machine had malfunctioned and transported the mental matter from Layton's body to his, and compensated by sending his mental matter to Layton's body. This mean that the Layton guy was running around back home in Calvin's body.

Well, tough beans for him. Let him eat Mom's terrible cooking, and sit through school, be made to build character by Dad, and be pounced on by… Hobbes.

Calvin frowned. Hobbes was really the only thing Calvin missed about his normal life. They were thick as thieves, despite their frequent fights and Hobbes's occasional attempts to maul Calvin. But, that's par for the course when your best friend is a tiger.

But, this new gig was pretty neat, even without Hobbes. He was an adult; he could eat whatever he wanted, stay up as late as he wanted, and for once, he had people to boss around.

It felt rather strange because the Professor's adopted daughter Flora, and his assistant, Luke, were both older than Calvin, but he could still tell them to do whatever he wanted because as for as they knew, he was an adult. Oh yeah, and there was that maid, but she sort of scared Calvin.

Yes, a guy could get used to living like this. Calvin reclined back in the chair, pouring more chocolate chips into his maw.

* * *

Far, far away from there, Calvin's squat six-year-old was inhabited by Hershel Layton's mind.

He sat next to a large pile of books, breathing easy now that the tiger had gotten up and lumbered out of the room.

Layton was trying his best to keep calm, cool, and clear-thinking, like a gentlemen should at all times. However, finding yourself in an unknown house, in the form of a little boy, and having no idea why could rattle the mettle of any man. Not to mention the talking tiger whom you now shared a room with.

Layton was fond of saying "Every puzzle has an answer," and this was surely the largest puzzle he'd ever encountered. Like he did every day, went over when it had all started in his mind, racking his brain for any sort of clue or hint as to why this was happening to him. The day when the world had turned upside down…

 _Layton was three-quarters asleep, but he still sensed that something was wrong. He rolled over in the bed, and came face-to-face with the fang-filled yawn of a tiger. A tiger. In the bed with him. A tiger was in Layton's bed._

 _Layton tumbled out of bed and screamed. The tiger sat bolt upright and grunted "…huh, whazzat? Yes, tuna agrees with me… huh? Whozzat?"_

 _Layton yelled again, and realized that the voice he yelled with was not his own. He looked down and saw a pudgy little body that was not his own. Fighting the urge to scream again, he looked around saw a room that was not his own, just to complete the theme._

Calm down, get ahold of yourself, _he thought,_ there must be a good explanation. _He then remembered the tiger, luckily it had rolled over and seemed to go back to sleep. Layton glanced around again, trying to piece things together._

 _The last thing he remembered was getting in bed and falling asleep, just like normal. Could this be a dream? It seemed too solid and real to be a dream, and besides, Layton was usually a lucid dreamer._

 _A door opened behind him. Layton turned to see a gigantic woman, brunette, seemingly in her late forties but still rather attractive. Layton realized that she wasn't gigantic after all as he remembered that he was now in a short body._

 _The woman looked angry. "Calvin, enough dawdling! You'll be late for school! Get dressed!"_

 _Layton looked up at her. "Madam, please tell me of where I am, and what I am doing here."_

 _The woman closed her eyes and groaned. "Calvin, faking amnesia will not work, pretending to be somebody else will not work, pretending you are insane will not work, whatever you're playing at, you will go to school. Now get dressed and come downstairs." She turned and walked out._

 _Layton looked around the room, searching for any clues as to what was happening. All he found were dirty clothes, toy cars, comic books, and empty biscuit packages. He was so desperate to find any leads, he was unaware of the woman coming back until she grabbed him from behind._

" _THAT'S IT!" the woman yelled as she yanked off the pajamas Laytons was wearing and forced him into new clothes, despite his protests and demands that she stop. She then marched him downstairs, plunked him in a chair, and told him to eat his cereal._

 _Layton sat there for a moment, then looked back at where the woman had walked off. While Layton felt embarrassed about what had just transpired, he couldn't help but briefly note,_ quite a woman.

 _He ate the cereal (it tasted like a sugar-coated nuclear explosion, he had to choke it down) and was rushed out the front door to meet a bright yellow school bus._

 _Layton passed the day in a small elementary school, apparently in America. It was just like any first grade class, and everyone treated him like a first grade student. He was rarely called upon to answer questions, and it nearly drove him mad to just sit there listening to the teacher review how to add. However, he maintained his decorum, as that's what a gentlemen does._

 _The only notable interaction of the day was during recess, when a little girl walked up to him while he was sitting on a bench._

 _She looked suspicious. "Alright, Calvin, what are you up to?"_

" _Up to? I don't understand."_

" _You're just sitting there, when you're usually going crazy on the monkey bars. What are you planning to do? Dump sand all over me? Tie me to the slide? Steal my books and hide them in the school pudding?"_

 _Layton felt somewhat offended. "Certainly not, young lady. I would never do such a thing."_

" _Yeah, right. You're not fooling anyone, Calvin."_

" _I don't know why you suspect me of plotting these things, but I assure you that I have no intentions of any shenanigans against you."_

 _The girl threw up her hands. "Okay, fine, you win. Your weirdness has driven me off." She walked away._

 _Layton shrugged. Rather than his reputation preceding him, it seemed someone else's reputation had preceded him._

And that was what Layton's life was like now. He lived in a middle-class house with a man and woman who apparently thought they were his parents.

Oh, yes, and just when he'd thought he had a handle on the current situation, he discovered that the tiger talked…


	3. Disclosures and Decisions

-Chapter Three: Disclosures and Decisions-

* * *

Like he'd been doing for days, Layton sat in what was now his bedroom, poring over books about the brain and the mind, out-of-body experiences and reincarnation, searching for an explanation of what was happening to him. There had been some promising hints, but nothing he'd read about was close enough to what he'd experienced.

He was thankful for all his years of practicing self-control and clear thinking, otherwise he'd have absolutely panicked by now. He hadn't panicked yet, but the talking tiger had brought him close now and then.

He glanced around the room. The tiger was nowhere to be seen, thankfully. It was possibly the strangest thing here Layton had encountered so far, which was indeed saying something.

Yes, it talked. Layton seemed to be the only one to hear it, when he asked "his parents" about it, they always acted like he was pretending. Indeed, they didn't seem to see that the tiger was alive at all.

As far as talking tigers go, the one Layton shared a room with seemed amiable enough. It didn't seem to want to bother Layton, aside from a couple of times when it had nearly given him a heart attack by pouncing on him, somewhat playfully. Like everyone else Layton had encountered, the tiger seemed to see him only as a young boy, apparently named "Calvin".

He put aside his book and rubbed his eyes. Even he had gotten tired of so much reading, and with no leads to anything that might help him.

He heard the bedroom door open behind him. He turned to see Hobbes, the tiger, enter the room on his hind legs, as he sometimes did. Layton tensed up.

Hobbes walked up to Layton with a serious look on his whiskered face. "Calvin, seriously, we need to be straight with each other. What's going on? You've been acting strange ever since that night you tried to increase your brain-matter-whatever. What's going on?"

Layton thought for a moment, but the decision came surprisingly quickly. He couldn't continue on like he was. He needed an ally, someone to help him solve this immense puzzle.

He took a deep breath. "Er… Hobbes, what I'm going to tell you is going to sound, frankly, rather insane…"

"So, what else is new," Hobbes chuckled.

Layton continued "You see, I…I'm not really Calvin." He then told Hobbes the whole story about how he had found himself here. When he finished, he waited to see the tiger's reaction.

Hobbes sighed and massaged his temple with his paws. "Oh, gee. I'm sorry about this. Ugh, I always told Calvin that his inventions would get somebody else mixed up with us one of these days."

Layton blinked with Calvin's eyelids. "You believe me?"

"Oh, sure. Calvin's _always_ doing things like this, and _always_ something goes wrong." Hobbes proceeded to explain to Layton all about how Calvin had built an invention for his brain, and how it seemed to not work, but this had apparently been the result.

Layton was astounded. "And, Calvin… is only six?"

"Yup. Definitely six, I remember his birthday party. If I recall correctly, besides me there were only two party guests, and they left when Calvin dumped punch on them."

"Only six, and he built a machine like this…" Layton marveled. Hobbes shrugged. "Eh, reality-warping machines are overrated. Now, tuna sandwiches, if Calvin made more of those, I'd definitely be impressed."

Layton was silent for a few minutes. Then he began to laugh. Hobbes tilted his head and asked "What's so funny?"

The Professor chuckled "I-I'm sorry, it's just… I'm sitting here, with a tiger, having a serious conversation about how I apparently switched brains with a six-year-old boy because of a machine he made out of a cardboard box and a lamp! Pardon me, but if I didn't laugh, I think I'd start screaming!"

Hobbes shrugged. "I suppose I understand that. Say, since you're laughing, why not give you something to laugh about? Let me tell you about the Noodle Incident…"

* * *

Calvin was in his large new bed, tossing and turning in his sheets. The bed being so much bigger than his bed back home only served to make it lonelier without a warm tiger to snuggle up with. Calvin was pretty sure there weren't any monsters under the Professor guy's bed, but at night, you could never be absolutely certain.

He missed Hobbes. He had missed him the whole time, really, but at night in bed was when it really came to the forefront of his mind.

There were other things he missed, too. Things like the joy of pelting Susie with water balloons, and playing Calvinball, and riding through the forest in the wagon. He couldn't find any Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs for breakfast, either, he'd asked about them at a grocery store, but the employee had said that they didn't stock them due to some British law about radioactive materials.

There was a knock at the bedroom door. Who could that be? "Come in," Calvin grunted. The door opened, and there stood the girl who was always hanging around, the Professor guy's adopted daughter or something like that.

"Professor… are you all right? I head you tossing and turning from all the way down the hall." Calvin sat up wearily. "Oh, it's you, er…"

"Flora. Do you need anything? Some warm tea, maybe?"

Calvin shook his head. "Nah, I'm good."

Flora turned to leave. Calvin thought for a moment, but the decision came surprisingly quickly. He couldn't continue on like he was. "Wait," he added.

Flora turned back. "Yes?" Calvin cleared his throat. "There is some stuff I'm gonna need, but you can't get it tonight. We'll have to get it tomorrow."

Flora replied "But, Professor, you have to go to the university tomorrow, remember?" Calvin scratched his head. "I do? Oh, I guess I do. Okay, then you and Louie-"

"Luke, you mean?"

"Yeah, right. You two will have to get everything tomorrow while I'm at that university place. I'll make a list of everything we need."

The girl looked confused. "All right, Professor, we can do that. But… why?" Calvin yawned. "I'll tell you tomorrow. Right now I gotta make that list and get to sleep. Get me a pencil and paper, huh?"

"Of course, Professor." Flora left to get them. Calvin rubbed his eyes. He knew what he had to do. Be it ever so humble, there was no place like home.


	4. Let's Do This

-Chapter Four: Let's Do This-

* * *

The front door opened, and Layton walked into Calvin's house. "His mother" was in the kitchen. "How was school, Calvin?" she called. Layton called back "All right …Mother." He hung up his jacket and hurried up the stairs to "his" bedroom.

Hobbes was waiting for him. "Hi, Professor. How was school?"

Layton set his backpack on the desk. "I must admit, I had forgotten the experience of being a first year. During recess, a large, uncouth child came up and pushed me in the dirt! For no apparent reason, whatsoever!" Hobbes nodded. "Sounds like Moe."

Layton picked up one of his ubiquitous books, and sat down on the bed. "And then there was the unpredictable water fountains, the detestable food at the cafeteria… but what am I doing, a gentlemen should never complain like this. My apologies… recent events have taken their toll on me."

Hobbes looked sympathetic. "I get it. But hey, Calvin's probably not having such a great time either, over in London, in an adult's body, without parents or teachers… doing whatever he wants… everyone thinking he's you… um… I suppose those aren't comforting thoughts, after all."

Layton shuddered, but brushed it off. "Quite all right." It was still troubling, though. He certainly didn't like the idea of a trouble-making wunderkind six-year-old gallivanting around London in his body.

He looked back at Hobbes. "And you're sure the only thing we can do is wait?"

"No other options, I have no idea how Calvin builds these things, much less how to build something to counter-act it. The only hope is that Calvin will want to come back, and make another machine."

Layton frowned, but he knew it was true. He solved puzzles, he reasoned things out, he didn't like being able to do _nothing._ He'd tried looking at the plans for Calvin's inventions and devices, but they all seemed to be childish scrawl and doodles done in crayon, illegible. Even his puzzle experience hadn't helped him decipher them.

"Well, if the boy is going to correct this, he'd better do it soon. I suspect that 'my' parents are aware that something is up."

Hobbes shrugged. "Well, you've been polite, quiet, obedient, staying out of trouble at school… acting pretty much like Calvin's opposite. They probably _are_ suspicious. Gee, it's the Ethical Duplicate all over again…"

"Pardon me?"

"Long story. Let's just say this is far from the first time Calvin's inventions have backfired on him."

Layton sighed and turned a page of the book. If only the textbooks were a bit more advanced, at least…

* * *

Calvin poured a beaker of something green into a bowl filled with a purple substance. If every university had chemistry sets like this, going to college might not be so bad after all. Heck if he knew what these chemicals were, but that was half the fun anyway. He sprinkled some gray powder into the mix.

Not feeling like attempting to drive the car today, he'd taken the bus to the University. It was kinda nice to go someplace and be cordially and non-suspiciously greeted by many people. And, of course, when he'd seen his college laboratory, with the chemistry set, he knew he was going to have fun here.

Mixing and stirring, he fell into one of the flights of fancy that were so frequent with him…

 _Spaceman Spiff, stranded on the distant planet of R-22, hurriedly tries to get his spaceship up and running again. With the ship out of Nova-Fuel™, he mixes his chemical supply together in a desperate attempt to create his own._

 _Suddenly, our hero hears loud, thumping footsteps. Tensing up, he looks around warily._

 _Out of nowhere, a hideous alien abomination leaps out at Spiff! Spiff curses himself for leaving his blaster in the ship. The tanned, blobby fiend reaches towards hero with its yellow tentacles, opens its crusty maw and a horrible sound comes out…_

"Professor? Professor?"

"Huh?" The feminine voice brought Calvin back to reality. A young woman, probably somewhere around twenty, had approached him, her strawberry blonde hair just long enough to touch the very top of her tan suit.

"Hello, Professor," she said, wearing a guileful little smile. Calvin stepped back bit. "Oh, hello, er… what's your name again?"

She laughed. "Oh, Professor, you're _too_ amusing. Rosetta, your favorite student?" she winked. "Only teasing, Professor, only teasing. You know, I heard about you being involved in some traffic accidents recently. I'm glad they were nothing too serious. Is everything all right?"

She stepped closer to Calvin. Calvin stepped back, backing up against the table.

"You know, Professor, I'm always here for you, if something's on your mind, troubling you. You can come to me anytime." She inched a little closer. Calvin gulped. The vibes she was sending off were weirding him out.

Glancing around, as if to make sure they were alone, she reached out and touched his arm. Calvin, pinned against the laboratory table, couldn't back up any further.

"And, if you ever want to come over to my flat, to... talk, or maybe give me a tutoring session, you're more than welcome." She slowly walked two of her fingers up the Professor's arm. Calvin stuttered. "I… uh…"

"I really admire you, Professor, you're so charismatic, and intelligent…" she reached his neck, and started to massage it. Calvin was very pale and gasping for air. Rosetta leaned her face closer to his, inches away from a kiss…

Calvin could do nothing but flail his arms around desperately, and behind him he hit a bowl of some chemical mixture and flipped it over. Rosetta's lips were just touching his when she jumped back and covered her face.

"AAAHH! My eyes! My eyes! It burns!" she danced around in pain. Some of the mixture from the overturned bowl had gotten in them, and whatever it was evidently burned. She fled out of the room and down the hallway, yelping in pain the whole way.

Calvin stood still for a moment. Then, he put his hand in his pockets and strolled out the other door, whistling unnaturally loudly.

* * *

Luke and Flora walked through the front door of the Professor's house, Luke holding a filled bag, Flora holding a piece of paper.

"Right. Have we got everything?" Luke asked, heaving the bag down onto the floor. Flora looked down at the piece of paper. "I think so. Corkscrews?"

"Check."

"Rubber bands?"

"Jelly babies?"

"Check."

"Funny glasses with nose and bushy mustache?"

"Check."

"Screwdriver, preferably sonic?"

"We could only find a regular. Check."

"Cheese grater?"

"Check."

Flora looked into the bag with Luke. "It looks like we have everything on the list." Luke stood up. "Why does he need all this?"

"He didn't say. He said he'd tell us when he got back from the university today."

Luke thought. "Hmm, maybe we'll finally find out why he's been acting so strange!" Flora smiled. "I hope so."

* * *

The small group of people followed Dean Delmona down the university corridor. The good dean led the way, his head somewhat resembling a misshapen carrot and barely coming up to everyone else's shoulders.

As he walked, he told his group "I'm sure you will all enjoy meeting Layton. He is one of Gressenheller's most prominent sons, and for good reason. Oh, you've read the newspaper stories, his archaeological finds, his investigations… but in person, he is the epitomic gentleman, always willing to help you out with a perplexing problem or any other assistance you might need. Now, I know I'm putting him on a rather high pedestal blathering on like this, but I'm sure you won't be disappointed when you meet him. We'll just drop in, say hello, and watch him do his work. I'll show you an excellent example for a university professor."

He stopped at the door to the Professor's office. He turned and smiled at his followers, he rapped on the closed door. "Hershel? Hershel? May we come in?"

There was no reply, but a faint rhythmic sound could be heard from inside. Delmona chuckled nervously at his group and said "I'm sure he's just preoccupied with his experiments. Hershel, we're here, we're coming in!" He pushed open the door.

The first thing Delmona noticed, with astonishment, was that the Professor wasn't wearing his trademark hat. The second was that the Professor was, in fact, not wearing anything at all aside from a pair of knickers. The third, was that the Professor was hopping and flailing around crazily on top of his desk.

The rhythmic sound, faintly audible from outside, turned out to be Tag Team's "Whoomp! (There It Is)" playing at a decidedly high volume from a modified record player in the corner.

Calvin, in nothing but his underpants, danced wildly on top of his ornate desk, flexing his muscles to every "boom-shaka-laka". Facing a mirror on the office's back wall, he proudly told himself "Made in God's own image, yessirree!"

Then, he heard a cough behind him. He whirled around.

A short man with a head somewhat resembling a misshapen carrot stood at the door, open-mouthed. Behind him were several other people.

Calvin stuttered. "Oh… uh… hello?"

The short man blinked. "Er… Hershel? Are you... all right?"

Calvin could say nothing but "I… uh… er…" he wildly pondered what he should do.

 _Spaceman Spiff is surrounded by repulsive aliens! Taking advantage of the planet's lower gravity, our hero leaps around them and makes his escape!_

Delmona and the others stared after him, completely stunned.

* * *

Luke and Flora were sitting in the living room, reading while they waited for the Professor. They heard the door swing open, and the Professor entered the room. "Hello, Professor," exclaimed Luke, "We got everything you asked for. How was your day at the university?"

"I don't want to talk about it!" the Professor snapped. Striking a dramatic pose, he looked at Luke and Flora and said "Let's do this."


	5. Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity-Jig

**So, here it is... the long-awaited final chapter! Sorry to keep whoever was following this story waiting, it took a bit longer than the others. I've really enjoyed writing this. Happy reading. R &R.**

* * *

-Chapter Five: Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity-Jig-

* * *

Luke and Flora gaped at the Professor, open-mouthed, as he tinkered with the supplies they'd brought him on the desk. Looking back at them, he saw their faces and frowned. "What are you two looking at? We've got a machine to invent!"

Luke spoke. "But, Professor… you just said that you... you aren't…"

The Professor got up and turned around to fully face them. "Yes, like I said, I'm a six-year-old genius named Calvin who borrowed your Professor's body and gave him mine, but now I wanna switch back. So, I'm building this machine that will get us both back to our own bodies and set everything the way it originally was …hopefully." He turned back to the desk.

Flora asked "Professor? …is this some sort of joke?"

The Professor sighed, and turned back to them again. "It's 'Calvin', okay? And frankly, I really don't care whether you believe me or not. I'll just create this, you assist me, and then this will all be over, and you'll have your Professor back, and it'll be like none of this ever happened."

They watched him go back to tinkering. Then they looked at each other. Flora whispered to Luke "…what do you think?"

Luke thought. Then he shrugged, saying "It's pretty hard to believe. But… I've seen some pretty strange things before. How many villages have we been to where it turned out that none of the inhabitants we met were real people?"

"Um… two?"

"Yeah. Most people have been to _none_."

"What are you saying?"

"Weird things happen to people all the time. Especially very special people, like the Professor, and us for that matter. It… it _does_ explain what's been going on. Let's play along and see what happens.

Flora looked uncertain. "All right."

They walked up to the desk. Flora asked "Profess– I mean, Calvin? Is there anything we can do to help?" "Calvin" nodded. "Yeah. Here, hold this brain pack while I attach this resonating lever." Luke arveled. "You made all this with only the stuff we brought you?" Calvin smiled proudly. "Yup. You could say I'm kind of a genius."

They built, and they wired, and they hooked, and they pinned. Eventually, they had assembled what looked like a globe of cords and hooks. Calvin stood back to admire their work. "There we go. Somewhat crude, but it'll do."

He turned to Flora and Luke. "Now, when I start this, for a few minutes this body will just stand here, petrified, unresponsive, while the minds are transferred. Don't worry, just wait a couple minutes and your Professor will have his body back, and everything will be back to normal."

They both nodded, looking disconcerted but accepting. Calvin cleared his throat. "Okay. Uh… I guess this is it."

He looked at Flora. "So, Fllllllllllllll…" he started hesitantly.

She nodded encouragingly.

"…llllllllora, I-I'm sorry I spit out your food. I didn't mean to make you cry," he finished, looking down at his feet.

Flora smiled. "That's perfectly alright."

Calvin turned to Luke. "And, kid… take some Saturdays off once in a while. Watch some cartoons. Eat some junky cereal and ruin your insides. Be a kid while you can." Luke looked somewhat confused. "Um… alright."

Calvin pushed a button on the machine. "There now, in a minute here, the mind transference will begin. That's that."

He stood there and tapped his foot absentmindedly for a minute. Then he remembered something. "Oh, darn! I forgot! When your Professor gets back, tell him to look out when he opens his underwear drawer! He won't wanna upset the-"

 _ **SQAK!**_

There was a funny sound, and the Professor's body went still, Calvin's voice no longer coming out of it.

Luke and Flora stared at the rigid body. It just stood there, eyes blank. "…that's creepy," said Luke. He and Flora went to the other room, to anxiously wait for the Professor.

* * *

Layton was sitting on Calvin's bed, reading a textbook.

Then, he wasn't.

* * *

Layton found himself in a vast space, surround on all sides by nothing but black and white squares in a checker pattern. There were no corners or walls, just the pattern looping around him. Though it felt like he was standing on a solid floor, he couldn't clearly discern anything beneath him except more checker-squares.

"What is this place?" he muttered. A high-pitched voice came from behind him. "It's the Mind-Space."

Layton turn to see a short young boy with wild blond hair, the same one that Layton had been seeing in the mirror for days. "You must be Calvin," he said.

The boy nodded. "And you're Professor Layton."

"What did you say this place was?"

"The Mind-Space. While our subconscious minds are being transferred, this is what our conscious minds experience with illusionary sensations. Think of it as a waiting room for your consciousness while your sub-consciousness is moving." He already had the haughty, know-it-all tone Layton had heard from countless university scholars. Neither of us remember it from last time because we were asleep when our minds switched."

Layton nodded. "All right. I understand. But why is it all checker-patterned like this?"

Calvin looked around, as if seeing the checker-pattern for the first time. "Huh. I don't really know. I guess just because it looks cool."

Layton stepped towards him. "Are Luke and Flora all right?"

"Oh yeah, they're fine," Calvin confirmed.

Layton eyed him. "So… you did all this? Transferred our minds?"

Calvin puffed himself up with pride. "Yup."

Layton asked the question that had been in his mind the whole time. "How?"

"It was simple really. All I needed to do was apply the Principles of Cognition and start some neural substitution with mental inducement."

Layton frowned. "But, young man, you're using words that _sound_ scientific, but they don't really mean anything." He sighed, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Actually, never mind. I don't care anymore. My mind is returning to its place of origin, correct?"

"Yeah."

"Right."

"To Flora and Luke?"

"Uh-huh."

Layton was relieved. "Thank you."

Calvin scratched his head. "There was something I was going to tell you… but I forget what it was. Mind transference can sometimes do that. Oh well, I'm sure it wasn't important."

They stared at each other for a few moments, sizing each other up. Layton looked at the young prodigy, Calvin looked at the professor who was somber but with a twinkle in his beady eye. They were so different so many ways, but each saw just the slightest hint of a kindred spirit in the other.

There was a slight vibration all around them. "It's almost over," said Calvin, "we're almost back to our own bodies." He looked a little embarrassed. "Um… sorry about all this, Professor."

Layton sighed wearily and shook his head. "What's done is done." Calvin looked a little relieved that Layton was not going to yell at him, which was the closest thing to behavior appropriate to his age Layton had seen from him so far.

Layton gave Calvin a hard stare. "But someone should be keeping an eye on you, my boy. I'm not sure I feel entirely comfortable thinking about a six-year-old boy with access to the sort of technology that MI6 is still struggling to develop."

Calvin smirked as he regained his mischievous, precocious swagger. "Hey, a prodigy's gotta keep himself busy."

Layton raised an eyebrow. "Be that as it may, I feel rather obligated to let somebody know about such a powerful and chaotic card in the deck. Wouldn't you?" Calvin sighed and said "All right, tell you what. When you get back to your own body, you'll see the invention I rigged to fix this mess. Keep it, and I'll make a receiver at my home. When you want, use the machine you have with you to contact us, Flora and Luke can show you how I worked it. I'll keep a duplicate at my home, and you can contact us with it. That way you can, you know, check up on us to see what we're doing without, uh, telling the police or anything like that."

"Or request your help."

Calvin narrowed his eyes. "Huh?"

Layton had a small smile. "I often find myself in strange, unprecedented situations. There may very well come a time when a six-year-old genius might by a useful individual to have at my side. Remember, your machine took me from my home and gave you complete access to my body and home without my consent. To put it in somewhat crude terms… you owe me."

Calvin thought about it, and shrugged. "Okay, I guess that's cool."

Another tremor, bigger this time. Layton felt a slight tugging feeling on his body, or whatever illusions seemed to be his body in this strange place. Calvin seemed to feel it too. "It's happening, we're going back to our bodies."

Layton pulled from the tugging just enough to tip his (apparently illusion) hat. "Farewell, Calvin. When we meet again, hopefully it will be under more pleasant circumstances."

Calvin nodded. "Same here, Prof." He snapped his fingers. "Oh crud, I remembered what I was going to tell you! Well, see, this thing happened when I was in this off-limits section of the London Zoo-"

Layton didn't hear the rest, as he was pulled backwards into a brilliant light…

* * *

Layton opened his eyes. He looked around. He was in his living room. He opened his mouth. His very own mouth. He called "Luke? Flora?"

The two came rushing into room. They stopped dead upon seeing Layton. "Professor? …is that you?" Luke asked hesitantly.

Layton smiled. "Indeed, my boy, indeed." Then, despite it being a rather uncharacteristically emotional gesture, he ran forward and enveloped both of them in a hug.

"Is it really you?" Flora asked, her face buried in Layton's coat. Layton pulled back and looked down at them. "Yes, it's me."

Luke didn't look entirely convinced. "Um… just to make sure, Professor… what is my, ahem, _professional_ title?" Layton smiled and put his hand on Luke's shoulder. "Why, my boy, you're my Apprentice Number One."

Luke beamed, and jumped at the Professor to hug him again. Flora wiped her eyes. "We were so worried! You were gone, but your body was here, and there was someone named Calvin, and... and…"

Layton gently shushed her. "I know, my dear, I know it all. But I'm back again. And do you know I believe we all need? A nice cup of tea." Nobody made tea like Professor Layton.

A few minutes later, they were all sitting down and drinking their tea, a few sips already having a soothing affect. As they supped, they talked about what had transpired for all parties. When they were all on the same page, Luke asked "So… did it all really happen, Professor? Was there really someone else in your body?"

Layton put down his cup onto his saucer and straightened his hat. "Well, my boy, that's a very good question. It all seemed quite real to me, but I suppose it could have been a vivid hallucination, somehow creating false memories while my body was performing separate, chaotic actions. Far-fetched, of course, but so is the alternative."

Luke gulped and looked at the device Calvin (if he'd been really real at all) had jury-rigged. "I guess there's only one way to find out for sure."

Layton nodded. "Indeed. Sometime, soon, I will use that machine, and see if there is any contact with an exceptionally bright child. But, not today. Not yet. My present time will be occupied by the two exceptionally bright children I have right here."

Luke and Flora beamed. The Professor tipped his hat to them. "After all, one must always think of their children, and their Apprentices Number One. That's what a gentleman does."

* * *

Calvin opened his eyes. Yes, they _were_ his eyes, his own eyes. He looked down at his body. His very own short, slightly scrawny, six-year-old body. He was also in his very own, comfortingly messy, far-too-small room. To put the finishing touch on the realization that he was home, he heard the growly voice of his best friend.

"Professor? Are you okay? What happened?"

Calvin turned to see him, a big grin on his face, and said "We're sorry, the Professor isn't answering taking any interviews right now. Please direct all your questions to his replacement, Calvin."

The next thing Calvin knew, he was wrapped in a warm, fuzzy hug. "It's about time," Hobbes said happily. Calvin separated from Hobbes before he suffocated. "Yeah, well, I got bored and decided to come back."

Hobbes sniffled and said "I knew you would, eventually." Then he lunged forward and joyfully pounced on Calvin.

"Ah, hey! Get off, ya fuzzball!" Calvin cried, trying not to laugh.

A few minutes later, they were chomping down on some celebratory Oreos that Calvin had kept hidden under his bed. Calvin told Hobbes all about his adventures in England. Hobbes shook his head. "Gosh, Calvin, you're lucky the Professor wasn't madder at you, after everything you did."

Calvin jumped up. "Oh yeah, that reminds me." He went over to his desk and opened a drawer, pulling out what looked like a small ball of paper clips and wire. He proudly showed it to Hobbes. "The first device I ever invented!"

Hobbes shrugged. "Doesn't look like much."

"To _you_ it doesn't. It's a Transmissional ReceiverTM. I'll set it out, and it'll let us know if the Professor contacts us. Don't wanna risk him getting mad and deciding to tell the government stiffs about my genius works."

He set the Receiver on the bedside table, and crunched another Oreo. Hobbes did likewise, and said "Well, Calvin, I guess we learned a lesson after all this, huh?"

"Nope."

"None at all?"

"No."

"Not even about-"

"Nuh-uh."

"That there's no place like-"

"Negative."

Hobbes sighed. "Of course not," he said, and licked the icing from his Oreo.

* * *

 **~The End~**


End file.
